cassaclyzm

It's been... a while. I have a lot of thoughts. Too many. My brain
feels full of fuzz. I'm stealing this venerable survey from

eeyorerin in hopes that having a logical structure will help
me think through some stuff. This may be boring. No promises.

1. What did you do in 2016 that you'd never done before?

Hosted my parents for a vacation. I'd wanted to be able to do that for
a while (and for them to be able to make it happen, as well) and I'm
really proud that I pulled it off, especially since I had to move just
before they arrived. I owe a huge debt of gratitude to my friends for
their help in getting my place set up.

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more
for next year?

Apparently I didn't make resolutions last year, not that I was posting
on LJ at all. This year... I don't know. I feel scattered. To make
resolutions you need to have some sort of goal, right? I guess my
resolution is to keep trying to figure out what the fuck my goals are,
and what I want out of life, and what's the point.

And to prioritize taking care of myself. I need to parent myself this
year. Do the things for me that my mom would do. Figure out again how
to make doctor's appointments and dentist's appointments and not just
hide all the time.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

My good friend K from back home had a baby. She came to visit! I
hosted a whole family at my little apartment. It was nice.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No. Many of my friends lost people close to them, though.

5. What countries did you visit?

I barely went anywhere. I went back east for a brief vacation. Other
than that, the farthest I went was... Hamilton?

6. What would you like to have in 2017 that you lacked in 2016?

Some. Sense. Of. Fucking. Purpose.

7. What dates from 2016 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

May 2nd, when my landlord told me I had to move out.
My birthday, which I spent with my parents and a ton of my friends.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

In terms of Getting Shit Done, moving. I painted my place (badly, but
it was bad before) and got things set up much faster than I did in my
old place. It's hard to believe I've only been there half a year.

I also built myself a computer, which was at times stressful but which
was ultimately a cool thing to do. I need to make some upgrades,
though, now that I know its current limitations.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Not managing to follow up on my mental health stuff. But "not being
able to follow up" is a thing that I find really challenging in a
mental health sense so... I sort of feel like they left the oxygen
tank waiting for me on the top of Mount Everest on that one. I also
failed to make myself a dental appointment, mostly because of the
above, but also partly because even with coverage I know I need some
work done that will cost money. Money is stressful right now. In other
news, water is wet.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Other than the above inability to follow up on getting help with my
inability to follow up as noted above, not really. I have been feeling
more tired than usual lately, though, which is something I need to
address.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

My new computer. And my giant orange couch.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

My friends, who are patient with me when I turn into a hermit for
weeks at a time.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Literally too many to list.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Rent. Debt. Food.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

My summertime visitors - my folks, and my friend K and her family.

16. What songs will always remind you of 2016?

Meganeko released a new EP
this summer and it is intense bleepy bloopy computery greatness, like
all their stuff.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder? Mrf. I dunno. About the same? Maybe a
little sadder? But that just might be my mood today.
ii. thinner or fatter? Probably fatter.
iii. richer or poorer? Mostly the same. A little poorer maybe.
Or just feeling the weight of it more intensely.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Cleaning. Self care. Self parenting. Creating things. Trying things.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Second guessing myself.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

I couldn't afford or get the time to go home this year, so I spent
Christmas by myself. I skyped with my folks a bunch and cooked myself
a nice dinner. And I played a lot of Overwatch.

21. Did you fall in love in 2016?

Nope. I'm barely managing to be the world's crappiest boyfriend to my partner J.

22. How many one-night stands?

None. Like, ever.

23. What were your favorite TV programs?

I watched Grace & Frankie, it's the only actually produced show I
watched all year. Other than that, I watched a lot of YouTube cooking
shows, speedruns, games analysis, and toward the end of the year
Overwatch strategy videos.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

No new hate, just intensified old hate.

25. What were the best books you read?

I didn't read anything last year. Absolutely nothing, in terms of
actual books. I am having issues with narratives in general - getting
invested is scary to me. It's dumb. But it's a thing that's happening.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?

I don't think I discovered any music at all this year. Except for a
dubstep-esque remix of the Pokémon Lavender Town theme which is
surprisingly badass.

27. What did you want and get?

A new computer. A new couch. Visits from family and friends.

28. What did you want and not get?

A magic windfall the size of my credit card balance?

Politically: SANITY?

29. What was your favorite film of this year?

Deadpool. Not that I saw much. Ooh, and I was pleasantly surprised by
the new Star Trek film. Easily my favourite of the three, and it feels
the most like a Star Trek adventure.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 33, which is one of my favourite numbers. I covered this
already, but I smooshed my parents and different groups of my friends
together and it was surprisingly fun.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more
satisfying?

Some. Sense. Of. Fucking. Purpose.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2016?

Finally-buying-a-belt-so-the-one-pair-of-jeans-you-own-stop-falling-down chic.

33. What kept you sane?

Friends. Family. Stardew Valley. Overwatch.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

I basically don't give a shit about celebrities.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?

*seethes in a southward direction*

36. Who did you miss?

My parents, family and friends back home at Christmas.

37. Who was the best new person you met?

I don't think I met anybody new, not that I didn't already at least
sort of know before or know online.

38. Did you enjoy this year?

I dunno. Some parts were great. The rest was... okay.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2016?

*downward-pitch slidewhistle* *boink*

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

*bweeping intensifies*

Well. I feel like I got pissier as I went. And speaking of, it's
pissing rain out on the night I finally decided to get out of the
house and go see Rogue One. So. Let's hope nobody asks for a punching!
Because I am IN THE MOOD.