May. 15th, 2016

cassaclyzm: (I do say...)
I saw two places yesterday. One is a no-go - the space is just too small for me, and it doesn't have laundry in. I've decided I'm only budging on that front if literally everything else about a place is perfect, including the price. Too bad, because the location was pretty great (2-3 minutes walk to Broadview station) and the landlord seemed like a good dude.

The other one, though, I fell in love with a little. The layout is functional, it actually seems like it was competently built and the cupboards and bathroom and such are nice, and it has a little den that would be perfect as a recording space. I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much so I'm not crushed if it doesn't pan out, but I am definitely making it super clear to the landlord that I am hella interested and that he'd be nuts not to go with me as a tenant.

I feel like I need to make a bigger effort to be the squeaky wheel that gets the grease, y'know? I'm so loathe to ask for things for fear of putting people out. Well, too bad for them if they get put out. I need to start asking for things, even if the answer is no, because I'm worth the effort. Why am I so afraid of a measly "no"? Especially since, by not asking or doing or trying, I'm guaranteeing a "no."

Yeah, I hate vapid motivational statements about "choosing not to choose is still a choice" and blah blah, and in practice there are PLENTY of things for which a default "no unless you can prove this is safe / worth my time" makes sense. But for me lately that's included literally everything. Like investing in a narrative. If "should I watch this comedy show?" is defaulting to "no, can't get invested, too scary" then there is a problem.


cassaclyzm: (Default)

April 2017


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