May. 3rd, 2016

On she goes

May. 3rd, 2016 08:55 pm
cassaclyzm: (I do say...)
One positive thing about getting launched into something akin to crisis mode: I start actually doing shit. Case in point, I've already gone and looked at a place. It's not quite right (the space has just enough of the wrong quirks to make it a no-go for me) but the location, people, and (to a lesser degree) price were pretty good. That at least bodes well for continuing efforts.

But man, this city is pricey. I'm glad I'm working. It's a dumb job, but I'm working.

And I even had enough motivation (read: quiet, brewing anger) to grin and act my way through a surprise job shadowing thing where one of the slightly higher ups sat with me today. Ah, we picked apart every nuance of customer interactions and value-added service and I didn't pretend to puke once! Chalking that one up to a WIN.

How did I get in a position where the only thing people will hire me to do is a thing that - even though I'm pretty damn good at it - I freakin' hate? And WHY am I so good at it?

Okay, to be honest, I think I know the answer to both why I'm good and why I hate it: I'm a good actor. As in, even though I don't really give a shit, when I'm talking to someone I can't help but RESPOND to what they give me and FEEL THINGS. So I have great empathy and great tone and also this is COMPLETELY DRAINING.

I need to parley this stuff into a non-customer-facing (or WAY LESS customer facing) role. I don't think I'll make a lot of headway until I've been there for a year, but the little flame is going "fuck that, start pushing NOW." So I think I will. Can't hurt.


cassaclyzm: (Default)

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